More pics from China

These are gotcha day pics and some others from China.

We wish all a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

The Holidays

The last month has gone well. Joey really enjoys school and gets excited to show us his work. He is still not listening to the teacher and sitting when he is supposed to, but he is quiet so they are taking it slow. He is doing well at home with his siblings and is finally attempting to speak more english without our prompting. He still tests our oldest son and myself more than anyone. He does not like to listen to Kurt which is a problem because we are training him for babysitting. He will stare me down and give the cheshire cat grin when he is corrected. If it has been a long stressful day this will get on my nerves. We usually send him to his time out spot, if he is persistent. He does not like this, and will hold a grudge when let up. However, if this is the only problem we face, this is not bad for a six yr old from an orphanage in China trying to adjust to a new life and bond with a family.

He loves to give the appropriate greetings, ie: good morning, i love you, good night etc. His manners are almost perfect. He loves hugs and helping out.

Joey is such a blessing, and we are very lucky he is our son.

Now as for me, my fear came true. I have traded my too small car in for a used twelve (yes 12 ) passenger van. With a family of 9 and friends here constantly, it had to happen. Surprising it actually rides nice. In time I will have it custom painted with something fun, because the plain white is horrible.

Our trip to florida went well, and Joey had a blast. He loved the hotel and swimming. We decided to keep the Magic Kingdom to a minimum, only 4 hrs. He loved it and was very tired after. My parents adored him and he loved them. We can't wait to see them again in the spring.

Thanksgiving was nice. I cooked a ton, all from scratch and we had a lovely spread. Joey thought it was very nice. He loved the decorations and all of the food put out on the table. I think he was overwhelmed with the choices. He ate everything on his plate and dove right into the pies.

We are going to our cabin in Michigan for an old fashioned Christmas. There is snow on the ground, and more expected. I hope Joey enjoys it. If not,he can hang out with Valerie in front of the wood stove, drinking hot chocolate, watching everyone else get cold. We will be gone 10 days and can't wait.

Life is smoother

After 5 hard days at school, Joey is finally settling in. I met with the counselor, principal, teacher, SP, and ESL teacher last Wednesday, and we are all on the same page now. Joey had been to the point of very bad behavior in school, and parents were calling and complaining, and the principal was having me pick him up early every day. I decided this had to stop. School was not the problem for Joey. He never cried when I dropped him off, and he was very comfortable in the classroom. It was the lack of personal attention that was causing the problem. Joey would act up and get in trouble to get the attention he wanted. He would not stay seated, he would tell administrators NO, he was erasing the lessons from the board right afeter the teacher wrote them, he was messing with her computer, and to top it off he would cry and scream as loud as he could. He knew this behavior would get him to the principals office, which I found out would get him treats and TV, and a phone call to me to pick him up. He learned very fast how to work the system. So, after our long meeting, I told the school I would not pick him up early anymore. I would however come in and talk to him and send him back to class. I went in twice last week, and since Thursday there have been no more issues. Joey has been receiving ESL services for a week and a half now, and is finally participating in classwork. He is very proud of the work he brings home, and has let me know everyday this week that he did not cry in school. We have success. Two full weeks in school. He is a very smart, stubborn child, which means we can't be sing song when correcting him, we must be firm. He is still reluctant to use his english, but we are not giving in to him, without him using it. He has learned quite a bit in one month, and knows how to use it approprietly, but I think he is using language as a control measure. There is one issue I would love suggestions with. He is still yelling "peepee" at us every time he needs to use the restroom, and at 6 o'clock in the morning it is very irritating. He knows where the bathroom is, and he does not require assistance. I have not been able to get him to just go when he needs to. He still has to yell at us. Joey has really accepted all of the new foods in our home, and is passing up on the chinese comfort food. He really likes spaghetti, and PBandJ. Milk is a regular in his diet now. He still does not like cheese, but that is fine. He was caught being nice to our two yr old the other day. He was taking turns with him on the swings. I was so proud of him. The crying at home is less and less everyday. However, we have a new behavior. Joey is now staring me down if I correct him. Paul got very angry with him the other night because he would not let up on the stare down with me and he had a very nasty look on his face, so Paul stepped in and put him in time out. We curb crying and move on to stare downs, what is next? This is all quite an experience and after we are settled and Joey has completely attached, bonded, and is snug in his place in the family, I am sure we will look back and laugh at some of what we went through. Joey is bringing back some memories of our oldest child when he was Joey's age. Joey has to be first in everything. First off the school bus and to the door, first in the tub, first on the swings etc. Kurt used to be the same way, we are getting a kick out of the memories, thank you to Joey. Joey has a job in the home now and loves it. He is very eager to help, so Daniel (not so relunctantly I might add) gave up his job of setting the table at dinner time. He is very thorough, he even pulls the chairs out for everyone to sit down. In the morning if some of the kids are taking to long( according to him) to get ready for school, he will get their shoes ready. Joey is always a ready about thirty minutes early. We have no problems with sleep and awake schedules. In bed by 8:30pm and up by 6:30am. We are meeting my parents for our annual weekend in Disney this weekend. We are going to Mickey's Very Merry Christmas party on Friday night. We will leave tomorrow, and come home on Sunday. The kids get 2 days to swim and hang with Grandma and Grandpa at the hotel. Hopefully Joey will like it, my parents are very excited to meet him, and I think the Christmas party will be just enough for Joey's first experience in Disney. We have been showing him pics of Disney and my parents and he seems interested. He was watching me pack and was very excited to see his bathing suit and flip flops in the suitcase. He imitated swimming and got super happy, he loves swimming. Wish us luck on our road trip with 8 kids (one is a friend).
I will update when we get back. If not before Thanksgiving, please HAVE A HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
~Heather

Historic Shamian Island, Guangzhou, Guangdong province, China

The buildings are from the french and british occupation of the island early 20th century. Two of the hotels we stayed in are located on the island. It was really nice to walk the island everyday. It is full of statues/art work that are beautiful. I will try to get those pics downlaoded and posted soon.

Hair cut

I forgot to mention. I took Joey and Mick to the hair salon after their eye exams.. Joey was the happiest kid in the world. He loved getting his army man hair cut with Mick to be just like Daddy. Unfortunately, I forgot the camera.

some of our pics from China

School

Ok, Joey started school last thursday, and it has not gone well. On Thurs and Fri the school called and had me get him early because he was very upset. They had four plus adults crowded around him trying to coddle him, hmm, maybe that was part of the problem. on Monday the school was on a half day, and they forgot to put Joey on the bus with his brother and sister. If you know me I was fuming. I drove to the school when the bus got here and he was not on it. The counselor apologized, and the principal tried to make excuses. I went in to get him and left very fast, but not before letting them know, that this was a very good way to make him frightened at school. We are suspicious of his crying at school. I think he is using it to go home early. When I got to school Friday to pick him up, he immediately stopped crying and pulled me to the car. He was very happy to get home and play. Not the reaction typical of a child who was really upset by something. I think I may play the tough mom today if the school calls. I will go and talk to him, but I will not bring him home. He needs to stay in school, he will miss out on his ESL classes, and he really needs them. Joey is back to crying daily whenever he doesn't get his way, or Ian (2yr old) bothers him. However, he is really having fun with Mick (4 yr old) and Daniel (9 yr old). Joey had his initial eye exam on Saturday. Well,good and bad. He does not have upper strabismus like his file had stated. He has DVD. Which is worse. Probably no surgery which is good, but it is Neurological not muscle related. It can't be fixed. His eyes do not work together. He uses one at a time, and the brain shuts off the other one, and that one will flip upward. He will eventually need glasses because of the strain of only seeing with one eye at a time. He will also have very poor 3-d vision. He will over time, learn how to compensate for this. No glasses this visit, but he now needs to be followed every three months, and our insurance only covers one visit per year. What else is new! We are going to Florida the weekend before Thanksgiving to meet up with my parents on their vacation. It will be the first time for Joey to meet them. I think all should go well. Joey has added to his english vocabulary. He now says: Hi, hello, thank you, bye bye, good morning, and pee pee corectly. He says I love you, but we do not think he knows what it means, and he says it at the wrong times. He told the lady at the chinese restaurant the other night, Bye bye I love you. He will say please and water when reminded. We are working on 2 and three words together, like: please mama, thank you mama, more water please, etc. Joeys huge fear of dogs in China, is gone. He loves our dogs and Amy our 70 lb mix is his favorite. He even did well at a friends house with their 2 dogs. He has a stuffed animal cat that he really likes. He talks to it and pets and kisses it, so if I can convince my husband, maybe a cat will be in Joey's future. I saw a beautiful siamese mix at the shelter, and I was very tempted. She was almost the same color as his stuffed animal. We shall see. If anyone would like to send me suggestions on the school issue with Joey, please do, I welcome all help right now.
Take care, and thanks for reading ~ Heather

A Week of Adjusting

Everything is running smoother now. Joey made it through a full week of Smith house routine (very Crazy with & kids). He went to a fall festival at church and really had fun. Joey is very used to his name now, and is sleeping through the night. He was getting up to pee 3 times a night for attention, but he would go to bed when told to. Now he doesn't even get up to pee. YES, YES, YES. SLEEP, SLEEP, SLEEP. Joey really loves his older 2 brothers and sister. He is doing well with his 8 yr old sister and 4 yr old brother, but still does not like his 2 yr old brother. He will fight him for toys and attention with pushing and shoving. We also found out that Joey was stealing from everyone, and hiding the items in his backpack. When we corrected him for this he stomped his feet and pouted. However, there has been no more stealing. He has only had 1 tantrum this past week, and it was in front of Paul. He will not do it in front of me anymore. I guess he figured out fast that tantrums and crying get you no where with Mommy. He will still cry when not getting his way with the 2 yr old, but we are working hard on controlling this. He is still pushy and very in your face, but we will work on it. He is now saying thank you, hello, goodbye and I love you, and he uses it correctly. He understands more english daily, he is very smart. How He expects to be entertained every minute of the day, so he is going stir crazy at home. He should be starting school next week, and I think he will enjoy it. Joey really enjoyed trick or treating, and caught on fast to the treat part. Joey did really well at his first church service, and we went to our annual church picnic after. He did good and had fun, until the soda. He really liked it , but I limited his intake. This he did not like. He was going to throw a very big fit when I told him no more, but he controlled his emotions, I was very proud of him. We then decided to go home, we did not want to push to much stress on him. He had a big week, and overall I think he did very well. I am doing much better now that I get to sleep. This week will be quiet and low key, getting him ready for school.
I will try to update again this week, but I do not get much time on the computer. Thank you to everyone for your kind thoughts and support in our continued journey to bond with our new son.

Another day

Sunday has come to a close. Another long night, Joey was up from 2-6am, then fell asleep until 8:30am. We did have a better day though. He had some rough patches, he does not like being told no. He threw a doozy of a temper tantrum, after we took a book away that he could not have. He is still not doing well with our 2 yr old. Hopefully this will get better sooner rather than later. He is doing well with the dogs, and had a lot of fun with his older siblings today. I got to go out for 5 whole hours to run errands and go grocery shopping. I took my oldest daughter for some quality time, and it was great. Joey did well with me gone, only one crying spell (3 for the day). We celebrated his 6th birthday with dumplings and a cake. He really liked that. He fell asleep during book time tonight, and with no nap today I hope he sleeps through the night. Tomorrow starts our weekday routine, this will probably tire him out until he adjusts. He is now giving hugs and kisses freely to our 3 older children and not just us. Still not close to the other 3. Well I am falling asleep at the computer, so goodnight to all, and pray that our Joey sleeps all night.

Tired and emotional

We are exhausted. Liang is not sleeping well at all. The adjustment is slow going. I do not think Liang is enjoying a large family. Hopefully this will change. He had some bonding time witth Kurt, our oldest, yesterday, it was nice. The communication barrier is harder than we were prepared for. I am very emotional, I have so many thoughts and feelings going through me right now. I hope I have not destroyed my family, we have been receiving negative comments and in my tired state, I start to let it get the better of me. We are taking it slow, one moment at a time. Paul goes back to work on Monday, and our life is back to it's regular schedule, maybe this will help.

We are Home

I am sorry we did not post from China. We did not have computer access. Finally, after a long flight we are home. Our trip to China was very interesting, with a few bumps in the road. It was an experience I will never forget. I will write about it at a later time, but I am exhausted now. Our son never cried in China, but when we got home, he let loose. He had a very long hard cry, and then started having fun with his new brothers and sisters. Xiao Liang's name has been changed to Joseph Liang, but we will continue to use Liang, because he has let us know he does not want Joseph. Maybe he will change his mind down the road. It will be awhile for pics because my computer can't handle my new camera software. I will have to put on a disc and then download. Take care, and thanks for following.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY my sweet boy

TODAY IS LIANG'S 6th BIRTHDAY

We have new pics sent Monday.

travel dates

I forgot to mention, we are keeping our original travel dates. We will leave Atlanta for Guangzhou on the 9th, arrive on the 11th. Stay at the Victory Hotel (for some rest) the 11th and 12th,and see the sights in Guangzhou. On the 13th Fly to Zhengzhou and meet Liang, adoption on the 14th, fly back to Guangzhou on the 15th for medical appt. Stay at the White Swan the 15th-21st. Do paperwork/rest on the 16th, back to medical on the 17th, sight seeing on the 18th, visa interview on the 19th, Oath on the 20th, pick up visa and leave for Los Angeles on the 21st, arrive in Atlanta and the 22nd.

good news

We leave in 11 days. I have been packing (and re-packing) for the last week. I had 2 suitcases to check and 3 carry-ons, plus Paul's bags, so I had to downsize by one checked bag. I do not want to lug all of those bags around. All we have left to pack is Paul's bag (he will be gone for two weeks before we leave).All of our hotels are booked, and I got our airline seat assignments today. We also received a bit of good news last Friday. We are going to meet Liang and take custody of him at his orphanage in Xinxiang on the 13th. Adoption is still the 14th. I am very happy that we will be able to visit where he has been living for the past 6 years. If Liang can show us around, it may help with his bonding to us. I am so excited to meet my son, I can't wait to hug him and tell him I love him.

A great thing happened today. A complete stranger (the carpet cleaner), was here today and saw the pics of Liang hanging in our living room. He asked me, how long it took for MY SON'S cleft lip surgery to heal. Someone called him my son and it felt great. I have thought of him as my son since we were matched, but it was hard to convince others (family) to feel the same way. I had the biggest smile on my face and went on blabbing all about him.

Will post more before we leave. I am waiting for an updated photo from WACAP. ~Heather

Change of Plans

Well, one might think I should be used to plans changing because I am a military wife, however this was not so easy. We were called yesterday, and told that we would not meet our son until Wed, Oct 14th. We could change our plane tickets and arrive in China 2 days later than planned. So we are probably going to leave Sun, Oct 11th, arrive on the 13th in Guangzhou, spend the night then fly to Zhengzhou and adopt our son. Then back to Guangzhou on the 15th for all other appts. We still leave China on the 21st, home on the 22nd. I am still waiting for a new photo to post. Goodnight to all.

Our son Xiao Liang, d.o.b. Sept 30th 2003

The travel plans

We should be leaving on October 9th, arriving in Hong Kong Oct 10th, train ride to Guangzhou, and then flight to Zhengzhou Oct 11th, meet Liang on Oct 12th. After the adoption we fly back to Guangzhou on the 15th, medical exam on the 16th, and maybe a relaxing weekend. Then everything else on the 19th, 20th, and 21st. We then take a train to Hong Kong, spend the night, and fly home on the 22nd with our new son. Wow, I am tired just writing about it.

The Catch Up

Since I have just started this blog, I better get everyone updated. This is the journey to our son, Xiao Liang. In April 2008 my husband, Paul, and I decided it was the right time to add to our beautiful family of six children. However, we were going to adopt this time, and he/she would be an older special needs child. We started researching on the internet. After a lengthy 2 months of reviewing different countries, we decided to adopt from China. Our first application for a child was going great, and then just as we thought we were going to be chosen as her parents, another couple applied and was chosen. We were devastated, however we felt this meant that there was another child who needed us. We started the search again. We did our homestudy in July, and then fell in love with the profile of a little 4 year old boy. We applied for him through WACAP in August, and were matched in September. Then started the lengthy paperwork process. In November we received word that the CCAA approved us and Xiao Liang was officially put on hold for us. Over the next eight months we did more and more paperwork. Finally, on SEPTEMBER 9th, 2009, we received our TA. We could know book our flights. We are scheduled to meet our son on October 12th.