Life is smoother

After 5 hard days at school, Joey is finally settling in. I met with the counselor, principal, teacher, SP, and ESL teacher last Wednesday, and we are all on the same page now. Joey had been to the point of very bad behavior in school, and parents were calling and complaining, and the principal was having me pick him up early every day. I decided this had to stop. School was not the problem for Joey. He never cried when I dropped him off, and he was very comfortable in the classroom. It was the lack of personal attention that was causing the problem. Joey would act up and get in trouble to get the attention he wanted. He would not stay seated, he would tell administrators NO, he was erasing the lessons from the board right afeter the teacher wrote them, he was messing with her computer, and to top it off he would cry and scream as loud as he could. He knew this behavior would get him to the principals office, which I found out would get him treats and TV, and a phone call to me to pick him up. He learned very fast how to work the system. So, after our long meeting, I told the school I would not pick him up early anymore. I would however come in and talk to him and send him back to class. I went in twice last week, and since Thursday there have been no more issues. Joey has been receiving ESL services for a week and a half now, and is finally participating in classwork. He is very proud of the work he brings home, and has let me know everyday this week that he did not cry in school. We have success. Two full weeks in school. He is a very smart, stubborn child, which means we can't be sing song when correcting him, we must be firm. He is still reluctant to use his english, but we are not giving in to him, without him using it. He has learned quite a bit in one month, and knows how to use it approprietly, but I think he is using language as a control measure. There is one issue I would love suggestions with. He is still yelling "peepee" at us every time he needs to use the restroom, and at 6 o'clock in the morning it is very irritating. He knows where the bathroom is, and he does not require assistance. I have not been able to get him to just go when he needs to. He still has to yell at us. Joey has really accepted all of the new foods in our home, and is passing up on the chinese comfort food. He really likes spaghetti, and PBandJ. Milk is a regular in his diet now. He still does not like cheese, but that is fine. He was caught being nice to our two yr old the other day. He was taking turns with him on the swings. I was so proud of him. The crying at home is less and less everyday. However, we have a new behavior. Joey is now staring me down if I correct him. Paul got very angry with him the other night because he would not let up on the stare down with me and he had a very nasty look on his face, so Paul stepped in and put him in time out. We curb crying and move on to stare downs, what is next? This is all quite an experience and after we are settled and Joey has completely attached, bonded, and is snug in his place in the family, I am sure we will look back and laugh at some of what we went through. Joey is bringing back some memories of our oldest child when he was Joey's age. Joey has to be first in everything. First off the school bus and to the door, first in the tub, first on the swings etc. Kurt used to be the same way, we are getting a kick out of the memories, thank you to Joey. Joey has a job in the home now and loves it. He is very eager to help, so Daniel (not so relunctantly I might add) gave up his job of setting the table at dinner time. He is very thorough, he even pulls the chairs out for everyone to sit down. In the morning if some of the kids are taking to long( according to him) to get ready for school, he will get their shoes ready. Joey is always a ready about thirty minutes early. We have no problems with sleep and awake schedules. In bed by 8:30pm and up by 6:30am. We are meeting my parents for our annual weekend in Disney this weekend. We are going to Mickey's Very Merry Christmas party on Friday night. We will leave tomorrow, and come home on Sunday. The kids get 2 days to swim and hang with Grandma and Grandpa at the hotel. Hopefully Joey will like it, my parents are very excited to meet him, and I think the Christmas party will be just enough for Joey's first experience in Disney. We have been showing him pics of Disney and my parents and he seems interested. He was watching me pack and was very excited to see his bathing suit and flip flops in the suitcase. He imitated swimming and got super happy, he loves swimming. Wish us luck on our road trip with 8 kids (one is a friend).
I will update when we get back. If not before Thanksgiving, please HAVE A HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
~Heather

Historic Shamian Island, Guangzhou, Guangdong province, China

The buildings are from the french and british occupation of the island early 20th century. Two of the hotels we stayed in are located on the island. It was really nice to walk the island everyday. It is full of statues/art work that are beautiful. I will try to get those pics downlaoded and posted soon.

Hair cut

I forgot to mention. I took Joey and Mick to the hair salon after their eye exams.. Joey was the happiest kid in the world. He loved getting his army man hair cut with Mick to be just like Daddy. Unfortunately, I forgot the camera.

some of our pics from China

School

Ok, Joey started school last thursday, and it has not gone well. On Thurs and Fri the school called and had me get him early because he was very upset. They had four plus adults crowded around him trying to coddle him, hmm, maybe that was part of the problem. on Monday the school was on a half day, and they forgot to put Joey on the bus with his brother and sister. If you know me I was fuming. I drove to the school when the bus got here and he was not on it. The counselor apologized, and the principal tried to make excuses. I went in to get him and left very fast, but not before letting them know, that this was a very good way to make him frightened at school. We are suspicious of his crying at school. I think he is using it to go home early. When I got to school Friday to pick him up, he immediately stopped crying and pulled me to the car. He was very happy to get home and play. Not the reaction typical of a child who was really upset by something. I think I may play the tough mom today if the school calls. I will go and talk to him, but I will not bring him home. He needs to stay in school, he will miss out on his ESL classes, and he really needs them. Joey is back to crying daily whenever he doesn't get his way, or Ian (2yr old) bothers him. However, he is really having fun with Mick (4 yr old) and Daniel (9 yr old). Joey had his initial eye exam on Saturday. Well,good and bad. He does not have upper strabismus like his file had stated. He has DVD. Which is worse. Probably no surgery which is good, but it is Neurological not muscle related. It can't be fixed. His eyes do not work together. He uses one at a time, and the brain shuts off the other one, and that one will flip upward. He will eventually need glasses because of the strain of only seeing with one eye at a time. He will also have very poor 3-d vision. He will over time, learn how to compensate for this. No glasses this visit, but he now needs to be followed every three months, and our insurance only covers one visit per year. What else is new! We are going to Florida the weekend before Thanksgiving to meet up with my parents on their vacation. It will be the first time for Joey to meet them. I think all should go well. Joey has added to his english vocabulary. He now says: Hi, hello, thank you, bye bye, good morning, and pee pee corectly. He says I love you, but we do not think he knows what it means, and he says it at the wrong times. He told the lady at the chinese restaurant the other night, Bye bye I love you. He will say please and water when reminded. We are working on 2 and three words together, like: please mama, thank you mama, more water please, etc. Joeys huge fear of dogs in China, is gone. He loves our dogs and Amy our 70 lb mix is his favorite. He even did well at a friends house with their 2 dogs. He has a stuffed animal cat that he really likes. He talks to it and pets and kisses it, so if I can convince my husband, maybe a cat will be in Joey's future. I saw a beautiful siamese mix at the shelter, and I was very tempted. She was almost the same color as his stuffed animal. We shall see. If anyone would like to send me suggestions on the school issue with Joey, please do, I welcome all help right now.
Take care, and thanks for reading ~ Heather

A Week of Adjusting

Everything is running smoother now. Joey made it through a full week of Smith house routine (very Crazy with & kids). He went to a fall festival at church and really had fun. Joey is very used to his name now, and is sleeping through the night. He was getting up to pee 3 times a night for attention, but he would go to bed when told to. Now he doesn't even get up to pee. YES, YES, YES. SLEEP, SLEEP, SLEEP. Joey really loves his older 2 brothers and sister. He is doing well with his 8 yr old sister and 4 yr old brother, but still does not like his 2 yr old brother. He will fight him for toys and attention with pushing and shoving. We also found out that Joey was stealing from everyone, and hiding the items in his backpack. When we corrected him for this he stomped his feet and pouted. However, there has been no more stealing. He has only had 1 tantrum this past week, and it was in front of Paul. He will not do it in front of me anymore. I guess he figured out fast that tantrums and crying get you no where with Mommy. He will still cry when not getting his way with the 2 yr old, but we are working hard on controlling this. He is still pushy and very in your face, but we will work on it. He is now saying thank you, hello, goodbye and I love you, and he uses it correctly. He understands more english daily, he is very smart. How He expects to be entertained every minute of the day, so he is going stir crazy at home. He should be starting school next week, and I think he will enjoy it. Joey really enjoyed trick or treating, and caught on fast to the treat part. Joey did really well at his first church service, and we went to our annual church picnic after. He did good and had fun, until the soda. He really liked it , but I limited his intake. This he did not like. He was going to throw a very big fit when I told him no more, but he controlled his emotions, I was very proud of him. We then decided to go home, we did not want to push to much stress on him. He had a big week, and overall I think he did very well. I am doing much better now that I get to sleep. This week will be quiet and low key, getting him ready for school.
I will try to update again this week, but I do not get much time on the computer. Thank you to everyone for your kind thoughts and support in our continued journey to bond with our new son.